Of all the really bad, pain in the arse clients I have ever worked for, the worst was raging egomaniac, Larry Ellison (The Shogun) CEO of Oracle Software. So, imagine my shock to learn today that the DEA is hunting him on a distribution of cocaine rap. Well, not exactly… It turns out that the Ellison in question is a 6'1", 235lb black man, last seen in Philly. We were aware that plastic surgeons can work miracles, but this transformation is nothing short of astounding. Particularly if the Larry Ellison of Oracle I know was about to have his ugly mug changed, because he’s such a freak about all things Japanese, he’d probably invest a few of his billions into a Toshiro Mifune makeover! Anyway, just in case, keep your eyes peeled and be aware if you do spot this dangerous fugitive from justice:
- Do not attempt to apprehend this individual.
- Call the US Marshals Service 24-hour number 1-877-WANTED2 (1-877-926-8332) or the nearest DEA office with information.
- Rewards are available at the discretion of the US Marshals Service.
This man may be armed, and is most certainly dangerous.
Particularly if you are trying to sell him creative advertising!
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