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Seems like Vice President Dick Cheney's brand new iPhone battery has already run out. Unlike the millions of people who have already shelled out $600 dollars for an iPhone chest implant, which when the battery runs out will require them to buy a new iPhone, the VP's model came with a personal guarantee from Steve Jobs that he could have an instant, implant battery replacement. Cheney, 66, has a history of heart problems. He has had four heart attacks, quadruple bypass surgery, two artery-clearing angioplasties and an operation to implant the defibrillator. In March, doctors discovered that he had a deep venous thrombosis in his left lower leg. After an ultrasound in late April, doctors said the clot was slowly getting smaller. In 2005, Cheney had six hours of surgery on his legs to repair a kind of aneurysm, a ballooning weak spot in an artery that can burst if left untreated. Apart from these minor irritations, he's in great shape and as surly as ever. When asked to comment on this upcoming procedure, he claimed executive privilege, adding... "F**k you!"

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Arrrggghhh!!!